I have been thinking about this for quite a long time and though I am not an eloquent man, I thought I should put these random and chaotic thoughts down in pixels. A sort of 'My journey in creative endeavors' or some such. This is somewhat rambley and covers a lot of random thoughts/ideas. I feel my thoughts on gaming have come full circle in a rather strange way, but somehow I am back where I started (at least I hope so). Some may view that as bad, or some may view it as good. I think it is good. You can be the judge, but here I am. This may also piss some people off as they might view this as me attacking what they are doing. Maybe I am.
G+ ushered in a massive communal environment, where we were all creating and sharing, building lots of ideas and sharing them freely...excitedly creating things for the good of us all. This was a great time in the hobby and I repeatedly see people referring to this as a 'Golden Age' and I wholeheartedly agree.
At some point this turned in 'I can create and make funds from this', and suddenly everyone and their brother stopped creating for free and turned to creating for money. I participated in this and had a Patreon for about a year. I slowly became disillusioned by this as greed leached into the hobby and the majority turned from creating "because that's who we are" to "creating to make money".
Related to this, at this time our hobby took a massive turn in mentality.
Let me explain. When we were kids, back in yonder days, those who created did so for their game table which comprised of us and our friends who we knew very well. We made things we enjoyed making but also things we would use fairly quickly at our tables. Very few of us created things we thought we could sell, or even thought someone else might use/enjoy. None of that mattered. We created for us. But when money came into the picture, most of us created for others. I think this is important to note, as I think the hobby changed drastically.
The reason I bring this up is that I had an epiphany in the last couple of weeks when I realized part of what was holding me back from playing was that I was creating things for my game, always with an angle that I would share it for others to use.
While for some, this might be a tiny thing to make note of, but for me, this was significant.
The realization that I had changed my viewpoint on creating for the hobby for others and no longer for myself (and my table). I also realized this was holding me back from creating. I was putting others concerns, likes, wants, needs, ahead of my own. I was always creating things - even playing games - with the intent of sharing with others, putting their enjoyment equal or even ahead of my own enjoyment. Views, downloads, clicks, shares, etc were a driving motivator for what I was doing. When I approached a new idea, first and foremost was the thought "Will others find this useful?" Which was quickly followed by "How to present this so others can use it?"
In any case, I needed to say this, get it off my chest, if you will and I am going to try to play the games I like, in a way I like, but more importantly, for ME. Put me before others in my game.
After all, this is MY table.
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